Given the taboo nature of my comics, art and stories, I’d like to say a few words on the specific kinks I cater to. I hope my words can serve as both comfort for people like me who struggle with reconciling their interests, and to draw a distinction between those who enjoy CNC and those whose damage leads them to causing real harm to others.
Firstly, I hate to be ‘that guy’ but since the definitions of kink are pretty varied, it’s important we be on the same page. This is my understanding of kink, both the word and the concept;
“Kink is defined as “consensual, non-traditional sexual, sensual, and intimate behaviors…” – The Swaddle
“Kinky sex is a catch-all term for a range of consensual practices — called kinks — that include role play, power dynamics, or fetishes. Kinky sex requires direct communication between partners about desires and limits to make sure that it is a pleasurable experience for everyone involved.” – WebMD
As listed above, consent is a crucial part of CNC. It’s right there in the name, for starters. It’s also one of the things that makes it enjoyable. It’s the flour in a cake, or the pigment in paint. Without it, the thing is different and altogether unsuited for its purpose.
Part of the reason it’s important to me to talk about this is that I’ve done a lot of work on myself to accept my kinks. I’ve enjoyed this type of seemingly forceful play since even before it was connected to any sexual urges. And I call it play because I was only ever interested in it as a game to engage in with, not against, other people.
For a long time, though, I held a lot of shame over it. “Does it make me a bad person that I like this?” I would wonder. It didn’t seem to fit with the rest of my personality at all. I intensely dislike bullies, manipulators, and people who use their size, physical or otherwise, to exert their will on others by force. I’ve never once encountered a situation where a solution was impossible to solve collaboratively, only situations in which one or more parties are acting in bad faith. So this interest in forceful sexual activity felt to be in direct conflict with that.
And then, after much contemplation, I realised the reason both my visceral disgust towards bullies and my interest in CNC could coexist was that they are completely separate. I don’t enjoy being preyed upon or preying upon others, I enjoy engaging in a fictional scenario with them. It’s the same difference between playing tag and hunting a person for sport. Just like boxers aren’t trying to assault each other, and either one can call a time out if things get too intense. Or actors playing a murder scene aren’t committing attempted murder – even though it seems real on the surface, in fact everyone is having a good time working together and no one is suffering real harm.
So that is how I approach CNC. If you view it the same as I do – if the thought of committing a genuinely traumatic violence against another living soul rightly disgusts you, but you enjoy it as a roleplay as long as everyone is having fun – then my creations are for you. As I stated on the front page, you are consenting to partake in this game with me by reading my content.
I have done my best to give you a fair warning as to what each story, piece of art or comic will contain with my tags. If at any point you’re no longer enjoying what you’re viewing then I encourage you to end the session by clicking away. You’re always welcome back, and there’s nothing wrong with not being in the mood for a certain type of game one day then wanting it again once your mood changes.
However, if you are not here because you enjoy mutually consensually roleplay; if you are here because you enjoy the genuine, traumatic suffering of others, please listen to me. That is a different thing. You do need therapy. There’s no reason to genuinely damage another person in pursuit of your own interests, and human beings are naturally wired for empathy. You can change your desire for inflicting harm, and you should. If CNC is a genuine kink of yours, it will not be affected by changing the violent side, I promise you.
And if you’re not sure, ask yourself this: how do I feel when I hear survivors of sexual assault tell their stories? If it’s sympathy for them, anger or disgust towards their attacker or a sense of sadness or helplessness, then in my opinion you’re fine, not broken or bad, and just as healthy as other healthy adults. And if you enjoy hearing about survivors’ experiences, please. Get help.